Post marriage depression- The untreated and ignored bitter reality

Life teaches you many things. The world is not that good. We all are balloons full of feelings in the world of pins. Here I will talk about marriage and its consequences. When a girl is about to marry she becomes very excited about having a married life, having a new family and many more things. But after marriage the entire scenario changes. The feeling of having the world upside down is a feeling every woman goes through the initial days of marriage. Slowly and gradually she starts getting very strange bundle of feelings. The feeling of worthlessness, feeling of being trapped, feeling of loveless and thankless bond. This brings post marriage depression which is the most untreated and ignored problem. Many women reading this blog can relate with it easily. But when you talk about it they call you feminist.  

A girl who used to be intelligent and cheerful is now irritable, sad and angry because she feels loss of space, loss of love, loss of identity and loss of importance and doesn’t know how to express it.  I think she could not understand that whatever is happening in her life is right or wrong. This confusion goes on and then she becomes mother. Being mother is the best feeling one can ever have. Happiness has no bound when you see your baby in your arms. But kids come with a bunch of responsibilities. And family has same amount of expectation from her. Family members consider you their unpaid maid. This may sound rude to many but it is the bitter and unspoken truth. No matter what so ever she does, she cannot change their mind. Her in-laws are entitle to her services because she is married to their son.

Life becomes a battle if you are a working mother living with your husband’s family. Wherein you are at constant guilt at work for not able to fulfill society’s expectation, taking care of baby, serving in-laws, keeping the house spick & span and you are also at constant guilt at work for not being productive enough due to stress that you carry from home. The double guilt leads you to loss of belief on yourself. Feelings of guilt, uselessness and distrust are different indications of depression.

Ladies, never compromise on yourself and your health. Do not live like a maid in your own house under the people who has no humanity left. Be a changed person who can make her own decision. Never let yourself go into depression because depression can never be treated completely. 

Marriage is a society controlled institution and post-marriage depression is a by-product. So love yourself and give your self-priority too. Because if you do not no one else will.  

Drive safe

Drive safe

To loose someone in road accident is nightmare.  Approximately 2 lakh people die every year in road accidents in our country. When finding out the reason of accident we mainly focus on driver’s mistake or poor road condition or any other such cause. Studies shows that lack of road safety awareness is the most commonly cited reason for such high percentage of casualties on India’ roads. But an additional factor that remains unaddressed about road accidents in India is how the lack of a comprehensive vision test for drivers makes India’s roads more unsafe.

Statics are growing every day. A survey was conducted at Bengaluru to check how accurate vision do drivers have. Results were shocking. 52 per cent failed in at least one vision parameter and 81 per cent of them admitted to being involved in an accident. Later the same survey was conducted on 500 drivers from the states of Delhi, Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Rajasthan. 67 per cent of the drivers had some visual disability and 86 per cent of them were involved in minor/major accidents.

By having a regular eye examination we can avoid becoming part of these causalities. An eye examination will not just test your vision but it can also find health related problems such as cataracts, age related macular degeneration and even risks of cancer.

Apart from vision disability glare is equally responsible for vision distraction. Glare is the sensation caused when bright light is flashed in front of the eyes and vision is obstructed for a couple of seconds. Glare increases reaction time in drivers which leads in compromising safety. Analyzing how a driver's vision impacts road safety, the study found that the chances of crashing were 81% higher in drivers with visual disability.

Strict visual screening before issuing a driving license and ensuring that they wear correct glasses can help create safe drivers and crash-free roads.

So keep calm, wear good glasses and drive safe because someone is waiting for you at home. 

Pilot- A dream, A goal, A passion

There are many who want to make home in sky, fly high in blue. They dream to become

a pilot. They want to fly big planes but by the time a pilot flies an airline aircraft, an

unbelievable amount of training and flight time has been devoted to ensure that the

required standard and a level of ability has been met. Nevertheless for all the

experience gained before, it is ongoing process where one have to go through training

and checking of these standards which is often forgotten. It is not like other fields where

you take training or experience once and you are done for the life time. It is an unending

procedure of development which pauses only when you pause your career in cockpit.

In response to a universally asked question, here is a brief overview of how to become

a pilot.

Pilots ought to follow a variety of paths before getting into any airline’s cockpit. You can

join the airline through a cadet ship scheme with minimal experience and undertake

training tailored to the airline’s requirements. Then there are pilots that have served with

the various branches of the military before seeking out a career in civil aviation. Then

there are many pilot training institutes which helps you to get commercial pilot license.

On the bases of CPL you can appear in any airline interview.

Irrespective of their background, each candidate must meet the minimum level of

experience and academic achievement prior to applying. Behind every pilot license is a

very long line of examination in subjects ranging from the basics of flight and navigation

to meteorology and aircraft systems. These exams normally require a pass mark in the

range of 70% and progress through increasing degrees of complexity from private pilot

to airline transport pilot. Above all each aircraft type winged requires its own specific

training. Once qualified and finally called by airline, the candidate undergoes a series of

skills test and interviews before selection. The path to the cockpit is along and takes

years to reach.

This post was particularly inspired by a question came from one of the student seeking

admission for CPL. His question was how much does one have to study to become a

pilot. My answer to this question is if you want to become a pilot you will have to learn

till your last flight. Here learning is a never ending process. An airline pilot cannot relax

on his achievements. It is that an airline pilot career is a commitment to ongoing

learning and the maintenance of standards.

For those readers who think of their next flight with a degree of nervousness, hopefully

this general overview of flight training will offer some comfort. The airlines and their

pilots will do their utmost to ensure that you are always in safe hands.

Photo by: Gaurang Shah

How pink paper plane will fly

There is a ritual of flying- that the moment you get yourself buckled into seat, the
loudspeaker gets into life with a familiar dialogue, “Hello, this is your captain
speaking. Welcome aboard.” Now the question is, how many times of your travelling
experience has that voice belong to a female? For most fliers, the answer would be
either never or a very few times.

There are many females working in the Aviation industry across the globe yet males
still dominate when it comes to set carrier as a pilot.

There are approx. 4000 female pilots working worldwide which is not even 5% of total
strength of pilots. According to a study by the international Society of Women Airline
Pilots, India estimated to have 11% female pilots compared to the world average of 5%
which seems better. However the question remains the same. Why that is happening
even after 80 years of Helen Richey became the first female pilot of commercial
airline? Answer to this question could be involvement of money, training, awareness
about career option, job realities and so on. Let’s discuss it a bit more.

When someone decides to pursue flying as a career, the first thing which matters a lot
here is money. When going through the civilian route, it can cost approx. INR 4000000
in training to become an airline pilot. In India we have a tradition of not spending
much money on girl’s education rather saving it for her marriage. Discrimination
against girls are from ages. It’s not like only our country is facing this sociological
problem rather this gender based discrimination is pervasive across the world. So I
guess this is the strong reason behind less numbers of female pilots.

Now if I research that money is the only reason behind less number of women in the
cockpit then I find probably not. Thought this is one of the major reasons however I
find dearth of awareness plays an important role here. Whenever a girl thinks about
making career in aviation she will opt for either Air hostess or ground staff service. In
my career as a business developer with Ahmedabad Aviation & Aeronautics Ltd., I
have experienced about only 10% of the trainee pilots in a batch are women. And I
find most of them have something in common: a family member or friend who flew
and showed her it was possible at early age. When I discussed it with many instructors
they said that female pilots are excellent. There is nothing like a particular skill or
knowledge that guys are better at. Here I guess a lot of women just don’t think about
it as a career field.

Though the number is constantly changing and thankfully growing in our country and
figures suggest that India seems to be one place where women are indeed working
hard towards making that dream of pink paper plane flying come true. Nevertheless
the long working hours, stress and the pressure to deliver safely at all cost, it's not a
job that they would want exchanged for any other. But all that changes the moment
they realize they are pregnant. They have no choice but go grounded or take long
without pay leaves of 18 months throughout the maternity period which is actually
very sad.

Very few women even view it as a job option at the first place because it is not all
about flying only, it is wrapped up in a whole lot of other unappealing circumstances,
unappealing especially to women who may not have the drive, ambition, financial
means or the network support to pursue flying as a career.

Be careful when you choose flying training institute

There are many flying schools across country and the world which imparts flying

training & ground classes for the candidates who aim to become a pilot. Make sure

that when you are deciding to go for a school you have in mind which type of license

you want to go for (CPL, PPL, AFIR, FIR etc.). Choosing the type of license will give

you the right to fly in different ways.  

If price is what you are looking at, always make sure that whenever you discuss with

cheaper schools all the costs associated with learning to fly are included.  Sadly,

there are many institutes nowadays taking benefit of people desired to become pilots

by showing them low fee structure with hidden charges.

You should have full knowledge & control of course you opt for. It will help you to

plan budget to invest in your education. You should make a list of all expenses you

may have to incur during the course like flying expense, ground classes, examination

fee, medical expense, license making charges etc.

Another thing you should do is to ask for recommendations from trainees who are

already taking training. They can give you current picture of flying training

organization. You must know it because what is present is what you will actually get.

You had better know all the times the strengths and weaknesses of your flight training

organization.

For the one who are very new to Aviation, we advise them to find a flying school in

which consultancy is also offered so that someone will help you throughout the

process of becoming pilot. Ahmedabad Aviation & Aeronautics Ltd. is one of the most

trusted flying academy in India which has trained many pilots who started from ab-

initio and went to CPL.

After meeting many trainees who moved to AAA after bad experience in other flying

schools in India and even from abroad, my most important recommendation to anyone

willing to become pilot is that the cheapest offer in market is not necessary the best

one too.